jenniferrr (luxette) wrote,

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It's better than a sexy-moan-off...

God is definitely punishing me for all the times I kicked puppies or made fun of fat people. I keep running into this one person who I can not tolerate and who likewise can't tolerate me. He was my best friend of the opposite sex for four years and he's the only person I've ever had a falling out with that was so massive we couldn't even breathe the same air as one another.

First I saw him at Applebee's, which is somewhat expected since it's our town's equivalent of The Peach Pit. We did one of those really awkward things where we looked at each other and had to decide whether to have a Britney-Justin danceoff or just ignore one another and take an interest in the extremely interesting carpeting. There was no danceoff this time.

The second time was at Spoon, this coffehouse where one of my friends works. It's this pseudo-intellectual hellhole that has grossly overpriced drinks and is constantly swarmed with twelve year olds, vicious homosexuals, and vicious twelve year old homosexuals. I go in there for some cheesecake with a friend and who do I spot? Not a vicious twelve year old homosexual, that's for sure. NICK. And he's sitting with the queen of vicious homosexuals, George. George is forever trying to pair things that don't match and wearing too much hair product. He would gladly beat the shit out of me with a blunt object if Nick asked. We eyed each other and then they paid their check and left. Still no danceoff.

Then, I'm shopping at H&M yesterday when all of a sudden my best friend is like "Person Most Likely to Kill You and Make It Look Like An Accident at six o'clock." She constantly insists on saying stuff like that even though she knows that I can only read a digital clock and can therefore not figure out where anyone is. So I look over my shoulder (hoping I'm not looking in the total wrong direction) and there he is, which his stupid transformer girlfriend. We call her the transformer because she's six feet tall (he's like... 5'5) and can probably shoot laser beams out of her eyes. One look, and he shoots out of the store.


P.S. - My parents are dragging me to a pig-roast upstate. I don't even think I have to say anything else to convince you why this is just SO ridiculous.
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